...brb prestige. 5 things I hate about Black Ops.

I've been sitting at commander for a while now and I guess it's about time for me to do my first prestige. Really what's been keeping me here is that I don't want to give away all my pro perks because that stuff is pretty hard earned. Like seriously.

I learned a lot of shit things getting here, the most important being that I suck at computer games and the second being that $60 can buy you a hell of a lot of entertainment. No joke. Compared to a night out it's practically an investment because you spend a lot less in one day and that thing lasts until the next best thing comes out like forever. Now only if I could find a girlfriend who sees it the same way...

Playing can also be pretty frustrating though but here's what I hate the most:

• Ghost Pro - I hate to generalize but a lot of the time ghost = camper, especially in FFA you might as well call it Algonquin Park Mode. I went for pro right away because I thought I could creep on fools, but while it's nice to not have to worry about being seen by spy planes or cobras it only takes a second to shoot either down. I won't waste my time for it again. Going 7 and 7 while laying down in a bush really helps out your team. Great job dude.
  
  Like I said, carry around a strela - it's like instant ghost because it only takes 2 seconds to let one fly, so why not. I also love making dudes get a super productive 2 kills with gunship/chopper gunner, it's great. You help out you team too Gollum.
  
  
• Zombies - Too many haters / host rage quitters. Also takes like 2+ hours for one game and you can't even get up to take a piss (more haters).
  
  
• Tubes - These are pure cheese so I use them all the time. I don't think this kind of thing even exists in real life, except maybe within circles of practicing wizards.
  
  Other than feces, I don't know of anything that someone could throw at you which would make you instantly move in super-slow motion for about 2 seconds so you can't even turn around. Tactical Mask Pro FTW.
  
  
• Nuketown - Worst map ever. I played this a lot initially to level up quickly, but gaining XP doesn't mean gaining skill so I wasted a lot of time / KDR on it. Using a flame thrower or playing gun game in this level is super fun but there are other better maps.
  
  
• Teammates Who Block Other Teammates - Aside from totally cock blocking you and giving someone an easy double, like wtf. Stop crouching or side strafing in doorways directly in front of people. As much as I appreciate you jumping in front of my gun during a gunfight, blocking my view of anything and getting us both killed, they're not very tactical positions (last time I checked).
  
  This is why I run lone wolf.
  
  

Anyway, until I get to 15 prestige I won't waste my time and get more than 1 pro perk per slot. Just not worth if I gotta keep giving it up. Let's go with lightweight, sleight of hand and ninja this round.

Now let's check out some of my stats to see how much of a n00b I am. Since I bought it in mid-December: 1 day 5 hours 19 mins and 21 seconds of my life that I'll never get back multiplayer, here's what I have to show...



I'm pretty good consistent alright with at least breaking even every round nowadays, but to actually rebound and get my overall KDR back to 1.0 took me FOREVER - something like a 560 kill deficit was not easy to recover from. My old strategy proved to be not so effective to say the least. It wasn't until I hit about lvl 45 when I changed my loadouts and wised up that my scores went from disgraceful to decent.

Also, I really don't find that you need stuff like marathon pro and since it takes way longer to ADS while running and if you're up against anyone decent you're dead in that case. I used it initially because I was all like OMG BLACK OPS MUST RUN AROUND MAP DOLPHIN DIVE ON EVERYTHING AND GET KILLS ALL THE TIME, but in the end I found something like hacker or ninja more useful.

At one point I was actually at like 0.6 (which is pretty embarrassing). I try not to sweat it but shit people see that noise...



As you can see, I prefer to shoot people in the dick...



Here's my player card - it gets show to every person you kill / is like slapping them in the face. Get real n00b.

It took me like 45 mins to make this iteration. I've seen one guy with a pretty accurate Homer Simpson head once before, and let me tell you there is no Homer Simpson head shape. Notice the blonde in my background...



Now that this is out of the way I'm enforcing a Black Ops ban until I finish this last Japan video maybe. With dragon boat season straight ahead and a shit-load of regattas all summer, I can see the encoding queue growing already probably. I build houses on empty promises.